So, this is a slight edit of an e-mail I sent to
noldo and
kaberett. I have added two videos I think of as worth seeing due to a reference on a race issues blog (yes, it was racialicious; yeah, that is horridly USois and kind of missed how Norway had an Iranian immigrant). In deference to having non-European immigrants singing at EUROVISION, I have added these songs. Also I have given links, as opposed to embedding because editing would be effort. Should there be sufficient demand, I might try to embed things as soon as free time presents itself.
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I think I enjoyed Spain mostly because um. ZOMG YOUR ACCENT. YOU REALIZE THE SUPPOSED VOICED STOPS FULLY AS AFFRICATES.
Um. So I had previous seen France's entry in a queer news aggregator. One guess as to why.
Moldova is great. BUT WHY IN ENGLISH. NO WHY.
Italy, USE ITALIAN. Er. This song is great, but the Italian chorus is rare enough I did not meet it until the end.
So if you squint, this has the structure of uh EVERY CPOP SONG EVER. But then it explodes at the end so I don't know?
Um. And Bulgaria, you have too much in common in your pop music with Avar. OH GOD YOU ARE SAYING I LOVE YOU IN 800 LANGUAGES. Also uh wow fan service.
HAVE ROMANIAN POP MUSIC IN SPANISH (Also yeah I am super off-put by band name but OH MAN LATIN POP MUSIC FROM ROMANIA OKAY):
Um skipping many clearly but oh god. GUYS WHY (MOSTLY) NAKED MEN. IS IRAN RIGHT? IS THIS SECRETLY A PRIDE FESTIVAL? (Croatia is what)
MONTENEGRO YOU SUBMITTED SPOKEN WORD WITH A SOUNDTRACK. (Fan service. Again? Really?)
I um might like Iceland. This is kind of bad overly dramatic pop music. BUT STRINGS. (OTOH, English?)
FOR LOOKING MOST LIKE LOST MODERN ART, I GLADLY PROVIDE THIS GEM FROM ALBANIA (The Balkans <3 Ballads. PLEASE SEE ABOVE. At least it is in Gjuhe Shqip?):
The music is kinda awful. And in English, where uh Cyprus could BILINGUAL GRECOTURKISH NONSENSE. But THIS VIDEO. IT IS SO BIZARRE.
OHMYFUCK TURKEY. THIS IS AMAZING. (English though) (No uh disappointing lyrics)
For being surprisingly competent lounge singing, Portugal:
I genuinely like this, and am blaming Aland for IE and not Uralic (in fact, I should have blamed Nyland:
Pernilla Karlsson - Nar jag blundar (Finland)
In which Norway sends an Iranian immigrant. (ENGLISH WHY ENGLISH GUYS NORWEGIAN IS HILARIOUS). I mean, musically this is intersting (I want to say it's hip-hop, but I think it's a little too popish? GENRES ARE HARD). Otoh, manpain. Kind of.
In which Norway sends an Iranian immigrant. (ENGLISH WHY ENGLISH GUYS NORWEGIAN IS HILARIOUS). I mean, musically this is intersting (I want to say it's hip-hop, but I think it's a little too popish? GENRES ARE HARD). Otoh, manpain. Kind of.
Tooji - Stay (Norway)
In which Ukraine makes REALLY HILARIOUS ENGLISH-LANGUAGE POP. Also the singer is Congolese-Ukrainian, and, predictably, some conservative politician commented "Millions of people who will be watching will see that Ukraine is represented by a person who does not belong to our race...the vision of Ukraine as a country located somewhere in remote Africa will take root." [source]:
I mean, okay I don't like judging non-native English accents. Except, guys, something about preserving linguistic heritage. And seriously, it uh increases your comprehensibility. To someone. ALSO, I WANTED A SONG IN FLEMISH AND FRENCH, BELGIUM. And uh see above rants. Oops Malta. I would be happier if you spoke Maltese. Also you look surprisingly like I would expect speakers of Arabic's most Romance-influenced daughter language to look.
Also NO MORE BALLADS. ESPECIALLY IN ENGLISH. The Western Balkans have a problem. Also I considered sending a ballad in uh Bosnian b/c TINY DONKEY. So uh if you want tiny donkeys. (I added link on basis of DONKEYLING/FOAL)
Maya Sar - Korake Ti Znam (Bosnia and Herzegovina)
Maya Sar - Korake Ti Znam (Bosnia and Herzegovina)
Slovakia, this is punk or so. EUROVSISION IS FOR BUBBLE GUM POP.
Latvia, Lithuania, your mission, should you accept it, is to sing in INCREDIBLY CONSERVATIVE INDOEUROPEAN LANGUAGES. In failing to do so, you have uh killed kittens or something.
Israel, modern Hebrew is the best experiment in linguistic revivalism ever. Also this is like every bad 70s rock song ever had a kid. I don't know.
Austria, plz do not make rap. Especially if it is sexually objectifying. (Yes so are many other things but uh pole dancers v. lyrics? Also
Denmark: ENGLISH IS NOT DANISH. DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH STOD. INFINITE DISAPPOINT.
In sum, party for everybody:
Buranovskiye Babushki - Party for Everybody (Russia)
ETA: VIVA UDMURT GRANDMOTHERS! WE CAN STILL WIN THIS ONE!
ETA 2: Er. They got second? And apparently Sweden won?
Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden)
I am also disappointed. (ABBA was better)
ETA: VIVA UDMURT GRANDMOTHERS! WE CAN STILL WIN THIS ONE!
ETA 2: Er. They got second? And apparently Sweden won?
Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden)
I am also disappointed. (ABBA was better)